it doesn’t feel real, and i don’t REALLY feel excited, like it hasn’t hit me what’s going to happen. as if i’m only used to waiting, waiting, and waiting. then i’ll worry that i’m not as giddy as i remember being last time…and then it is literally the night before, and i realize how much i have to do in so little time. and that it’s really happening. and how fucking excited i am. and ahhh!!!!